You guys! I actually woke up extra early today to spend time reading my bible! A true miracle if you know how much of a morning person I am not. I even started this post after I spent time reading because I was so proud of myself and wanted to share. However, my day went quickly downhill after attempting to finish that post.
I have a confession- I thought that I was being so good waking up early to spend time with Jesus. I thought that I deserved a good day after going out of my way to really put Jesus first and I’m ashamed that I let myself think those things.
This morning, after I almost finished typing my blog post my computer froze and wouldn’t let me post what I wrote, I thought I was going to have so much time (since I got up early) and almost was late to work, I was extra cranky from being up at an earlier time than my body is used to (and am NOT a morning person, did I mention?). I started feeling guilty for expecting a great day after spending time with Jesus first thing in the morning.
You see I have to admit, I haven’t been spending time reading my bible like I should be or as much as I wish I was. I desire to know Jesus more but seem to always have too many things to do to really sit down and study His word. I could feel things in my life shifting because of this too and I have been meaning to make it more of a priority. I had been thinking of getting up early and spending time with Jesus first thing in the morning for about a month now but what I didn’t realize was that part of me was doing it because I wanted a better life. I heard of people saying that spending time in the Word at the start of your day sets you off in a better mood. While I am sure this is true a lot of the time- I kind of forgot that Jesus isn’t here just to make my day better. That’s not His purpose at all actually.
I’m the one that needs Him and it’s not to make my day better, although that usually is a byproduct of spending time with Him. I need Him to reset my desires for my life- to set my heart on Him and what He wants for my life. I need Him to remind me of how much He loves me because my weak unfaithful heart forgets that more times than I’d like to admit. I need Him for so many things and if I reduce Him down to just spending time with Him to “make my day better” I’m missing out on so much else He has in store for me.
Just because I got it wrong this morning I am not going to give up. I do desire to put Jesus first in my life and a very real way for me to do that is to pursue Him first thing in the morning- to ensure that He is the first of my priorities. But the desire isn’t going to be because I want Him to make my day better. Jesus never promised us that. He promised us exactly the opposite- that we would have troubles in this life. But spending time with Him makes those troubles seem less significant and more manageable because I am reminded of His great love for me.
I’m interested though- do you spend time with Jesus first thing in the morning or maybe right before bed? I don’t think there’s necessarily a right or wrong time to do it but I’m curious to know what you think about this topic.
