I think it’s time I finally write this post. I have been struggling with being a stay-at-home mom since Shane was probably around six months old.
So a little backstory for you if you’re new here: I got married in May 2016, quit my full-time job in December 2016, got pregnant in April 2017, and had my son in January 2018.
A Dream Come True
I quit my job in 2016 to pursue trying to make money from home. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Things have not gone quite how I thought they would though. I got pregnant only four months after I quit my job and that turned everything on it’s head.
I kind of decided to put making money at home on the back-burner either temporarily or possibly even permanently because I was going to be a mom! That’s all I really cared about and felt that once my son was born I would feel fulfilled and wouldn’t care about working from home anymore.
Moral of this blog post: that didn’t happen.
Part Of Me Is Missing
I love my son to death and am so incredibly thankful that I get to stay home with him but it just feels like part of me is missing.
So another little backstory for those of you who don’t know: I grew up in a home where I had to fight hard for the things I wanted. My family didn’t have much and I realized at a young age that if I wanted my life to be different then I had to put in the work to change things.
I went to college and worked full-time during the last two years before I graduated. I got lucky and my uncle’s work hired me as a part-time worker, which later turned into a full-time job, which later turned into me being the supervisor.
I graduated, became supervisor, and really learned that hard work pays off. It became a big part of me. I learned a lot about myself through that process and I was proud of who I became and where I had gotten myself.
That’s why I was so confident in trying to make money from home. I learned that I could do what I set my mind to.
Shifting Gears
But all of that changed when I found out I was pregnant. I was ready to fully embrace this new role and expected it to fulfill me the way that working hard at a full-time job did. But honestly, it hasn’t and I hate that. I want to be fulfilled with being home with my babies. I love my son and want to stay home and be the one to love on him throughout the day.
I just feel like part of me is missing though. I love having a schedule and being able to see the results of my hard work. Being a mom is wonderful in a lot of ways but there definitely isn’t the same rewards for doing a good job.
I know it may seem like the solution to this might be going back to work but I honestly think I would be more unhappy leaving my son and going to work than I am staying home with him.
I don’t have a happy ending or a bow to tie on the end of this story. I guess I just wanted to let you know that if you feel the same way, you aren’t alone. I see a lot of voices out there sharing how they absolutely love being a stay at home mom or others who are struggling with being a working mom, but I haven’t come across many who are struggling with staying home. It sometimes makes me feel guilty because I know how fortunate I am to be able to do this. I don’t take it lightly. But that doesn’t make it easy for me either.
Going Forward
That doesn’t mean that I’m just going to just leave things as they are. I’m still going to be trying to find a work/home life balance. My husband and I did start an Etsy shop last year, so that has helped a bit, and I am thinking of starting a Youtube channel as well/maybe just working hard to blog more consistently. But whatever the case, I am and will forever be grateful to stay home and raise my babies – no matter how crazy it may make me. 🤣
If you’re a mom, please leave a comment and share your story about when you became a mom and if you are fulfilled with either being a SAHM or working mom.
