Where to even begin? It’s been over a year since I’ve posted on here. I haven’t been completely MIA on the internet world all year. If you’ve been following me on Youtube or on Instagram then you already know that we just had our third baby a little over a month ago. I shared many pregnancy updates over the past ten months over on Youtube, which I used to share on here.
Our sweet Melanie girl was born on September 7th, two days after her due date and I still can’t get over how perfect she is. The boys have just completely fallen head over heels with her and we are just so thankful God has chosen her to join our family.
As many of you probably know, there is a lot of reflecting that is done after a baby joins your family. The dynamics of just about everything changes, which can be challenging for a while. Obviously there is less time and less energy to be devoted to things that were once important.
So I’ve been doing just that. Reflecting on life now that we are a family of five. Reflecting on what it means to be a mom of three. I’m always trying to make sure that my priorities are in order and that God comes first and my family comes second. A lot of the time keeping family before anything else (besides God) is easy in this season of small children because small children demand their needs to be met. I’m unable to choose other things over them because they make sure that you are attentive to them and for that I am thankful even when it is hard.
But if I’m being honest, my heart isn’t always in the right place when it comes to meeting their needs. A lot of the time my heart is wanting to put other things first. I desire to have a life apart from just being a mom to small children. Sometimes I want that life a little more than I should, I think.
I desire to “have it all” just like I believe so many others. I want to follow God first, love my family well, be able to keep my house in order always, and have a thriving online business that pays the bills as well. I have believed the lie that most of the people I follow online are doing all of these things. I’ve learned slowly over the years that it’s just not true. Not everyone has or does it all. And more importantly, if I’m keeping God first, that just might not be (and probably isn’t) the life that God has planned for me.
So that leads me to where I am now. A new mom to three. Trying to figure out what I should spend my energy on these days. And it’s really hard. But I’ve learned to slow down and try to hear God’s voice above it all. And the funny thing is he’s really there. He really will guide you if you seek him first.
So in an effort to fight against the temptation to put anything above my family in this season, I’ve decided to let myself have a little fun with blogging and making videos. I’ve decided to resist the urge to try to grow any platform to make money off of it. If I feel like sharing in a blog post something we’ve been doing or something I’ve been learning then I will. But I will no longer be putting pressure on myself to show up on any online space because I feel it does the opposite anyway and burns me out.
I’m hoping this will cause me to want to share more and show up more but who knows? Life with three kids is busy. Here’s to hoping! I’ve got lots to share about what God’s been teaching me, if I can just find the time. And energy. 😉
I’m hoping to share on Youtube similar things that I want to write about here, just in a different form. I’m remembering that I like to be able to explain in longer form (aka writing) things that I’ve been processing. I’ve missed it. I would like to share Melanie’s birth story on the blog even though I will also be doing a video as well. Here’s to having fun and showing up.
If anyone is still around reading this, please let me know if there is anything specific that you like to hear about from me. It would be really helpful!
