Have you ever woken up and wondered how your life ever got to be where it is? Good or bad. I woke up thinking that what God has done in my life is honestly just too good to be true. I felt like someone was going to walk into my new apartment and tell me that the joke is over now and that I have to go back home. I’ve been so excited to move out and get married and now that God is actually allowing it to happen it honestly feels too good to be true.
Tommy and I had a long conversation after that about faithful God has been through this whole situation. I remember a time when we would sit and talk about how we needed God to show up when we told our friends and families about getting engaged. We really needed their support through it all and every single one of our friends and family members were so excited for us and that was only the beginning.
Next came Tommy’s job. We prayed and wished for almost a year for Tommy’s dad to get him a job at the quarry where him and his brother work as welders. We knew that this was an essential part of Tommy and I being able to provide for ourselves. We knew that God would provide for us but we were worried it might be in a different way than we were envisioning for ourselves. So we prayed and hoped that this was the way that God was leading us and it turned out that we were right and that it was where God was leading us and it’s been amazing to see God open those doors for Tommy.
Just when you think it’s over and that God did enough amazing things, He even blessed my work search. I was laid off in March and also knew that I needed to find a job so that we could continue to save for the wedding and to eventually be able to provide for ourselves when we moved out. It only took about a month of looking and I found a job – that paid more than my last one. It is only a temporary job but it’s just what I needed at the time and for that I am forever grateful. I know that when it comes time to look for another job again, when this assignment is over that He will provide in just the right way that our new little family needs.
And so with all that being said maybe others can see why I feel that my life is just too good to be true. I want to tell everyone I meet how faithful God is and to know that He can and will do this for others too because He loves and cares for us. What about you guys? Has God ever shown up in such a way that you couldn’t believe that this was your life? Or do you have trouble believing that God could care about you in this way like I once did?
I was angry and upset and seriously questioning God at this point. I had really believed that God had led me to Tommy to possibly even marry him one day. Everything just seemed to line up so well when we were together and we seemed to be so similar but I just couldn’t understand why God allowed us to break up. I know now it was only temporary and we just had more growing to do before we were ready to be together.
We were broken up for about two months before I texted him (at around 3 in the morning) one night. I was actually out at a bar with one of my friends and I hadn’t been able to get Tommy out of my head ever since we broke up. How could two people seem so good together and just not work out? Tommy was obviously not up at this hour (obviously) but actually answered me an hour later (I was already asleep) and he thought I needed help with my car or something and I was texting him to ask him for help changing a tire or something haha.
We decided the next day to stay friends and see what happened. I think we actually ended up hanging out again just a few days later. It only took us two weeks to realize that the feelings we had over the summer were still there and we couldn’t just ignore the situation. I was really nervous but really eager to see where this could go. I had always felt like God was there in our relationship when we dated over the summer so I didn’t see any harm in giving it a real shot this time- especially since Tommy only lived 10 minutes down the road now!
So on October 30, 2014 we made it official again and that is why this post is half titled “One Year Anniversary”. Today is our one year anniversary and I wouldn’t change anything about what brought us to this point- even the hard times. It all makes me really appreciate what we have today and makes me realize just how special it is. Tommy still to this day treats me like I am the most special person ever and I have never loved and respected someone so much. Tommy’s the only that I finally “made it” with but even though that is still special to me I realize that that’s not what it’s all about anyway. Doing things God’s way and giving Him the glory in our relationship is what makes it so special, its what causes me to believe that we can make it through anything- because we are following His design and always striving to give Him glory.
Over the past year we have done so many things together- we’ve had so many “firsts” and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. We’ve had our bad times together but the good times ALWAYS far outweigh the bad. My favorite part about our relationship is that we are very committed to doing things God’s way- we mess up daily but always know that He extends grace upon grace to us in those moments. I hope to always be a light of hope and grace in Tommy’s life and I hope he knows that I will always be there to support him in all that he does.
Happy Anniversary Tommy – I couldn’t ask for a more perfect boyfriend<3
I’ve always been one of those girls who wanted a boyfriend- someone I could spend most of my time with and genuinely have a good time with. I always thought it would be an awesome thing to meet my future husband at a young age and end up getting married young and getting to live out my life with my husband. Growing up I’ve had a few boyfriends that I considered to be serious but I never really considered God’s way of having a relationship. I always cared about what He wanted for me but I wanted a boyfriend too much to really seek out and follow His design because I knew it would mean I would have to wait for His timing and let me tell you I was too impatient for that. So I took things into my own hands, thinking I knew better. I always envied those couples in high school and college who made it to their one year anniversary- in my eyes that was when you had “made it” as a couple. I know it’s not true but in my head if someone stayed with you for a whole year that meant that they really loved you and there was a way less chance of them ever leaving. My relationships never made it that long but I always longed for that someone that I could “make it” with and feel as if we were in that serious relationship where I wasn’t afraid of them ever leaving anymore.
After going through a few heartbreaks I finally decided that I didn’t know what I was doing when it came to dating and I really desired to do things God’s way. I was tired of feeling so broken and alone and finally came to terms that God probably knew way better about this whole marriage thing than I did. It took me a while to fully let go of my control in the situation and just allow God to work in my life (a story for another day) but when I did it was more amazing than I could ever imagine and I still am in awe of what God is doing now.
About two years after I came to my breaking point and decided to follow God’s design for dating and marriage, I was introduced to Tommy. I had a friend named Steve (also Tommy’s friend) who knew I was a Christian and had a plan to only date Christians because that was what God had commanded. Before I even knew Tommy, Steve started snap chatting me pictures of Tommy with the caption “your next boyfriend”. I thought it was funny but didn’t think anything of it because well obviously I didn’t know Tommy. Little did I know, Steve must have been joking around with Tommy about this too and actually trying to set us up because Tommy added me on Facebook shortly after the snap chat incident. I still didn’t think anything of it because well Facebook is just Facebook and just because you’re friends with someone on there doesn’t mean you’ll ever talk to them. I actually distinctly remember going through his profile pictures and thinking that he was too good looking for me and that he wasn’t ever going to talk to me anyways (although I did want him to because I knew at this point that he was a Christian 😉 ).
I don’t remember exactly how long after this but Tommy actually ended up texting me! I still remember how excited I was when I found out it was him. 🙂 Apparently Steve had been pushing him more towards me and actually even given Tommy my number- without asking me I might add (good thing Tommy was such a good catch haha). Steve knew we both went to the same church and I guess thought that we would make a good couple.
Tommy and I texted for the next few weeks and I had started to develop a serious crush on him. We just then started learning how similar we are- we’re seriously the same person just different genders, it’s quite strange but seriously awesome at the same time lol. But anyways this was the start to discovering just how similar we really were and I just felt like God had brought him into my life for a reason. We ended up meeting at a Dunkin Donuts- Steve actually tricked me because he was hanging out there with Tommy and a few other friends and invited me to come (actually begged me to). I thought Tommy knew I was coming and that’s why I thought Steve was begging me to (I later found out Tommy had no idea Steve had invited me and had wished me met someone nicer than Dunkin haha). I almost didn’t go because I was soo nervous to meet Tommy but decided to go because my hair was straight and I knew I looked nice that night haha. 😉
Steve actually ended up leaving only about 15 minutes after I got there and I was left with Tommy and a few of their friends- it was insanely nerve raking to say the least. Tommy and I are both shy but talked a little bit and ended up staying for a couple hours after Steve left and he even hugged me goodbye when we left! It’s really cool how perfectly I remember all these little details of our story even almost two years later.
(We actually figured out that this actually was not the first time we met. We grew up in the same town and had gone to the same party a few summers before this night. Tommy remembers me very clearly from that night even down to the details of what I was wearing haha so cool.)
Tommy and I continued to text and hang out after the night we met in Dunkin’ but Tommy was debating on moving to Lake George that summer so wasn’t sure if he really should pursue a relationship with me considering we only had just met. Once he found out that I would be open to the idea of having a long distance relationship he jumped on board and started really pursuing me.
Our first date was on Easter in April of 2014, we went hiking and he held my hand for the first time. 🙂 I was literally on cloud nine and I was so nervous and excited because I knew that this really had the potential to go somewhere. Not long after (maybe a week or two) we were hanging out again and he brought me to my favorite place to drive to (he didn’t know this then) and kissed me for the first time!! 🙂 The beginning of our relationship literally felt like I was living out a movie. I was seriously so nervous but so happy at the same time.
Where we had our first kiss
Tommy actually did end up moving to Lake George in May of 2014 and asked me out the day before he left. Now you might be confused now because half of this post is titled “One Year Anniversary” but hold on we’ll get to that lol. We started dating and Tommy started a new job in Lake George and I visited him a few times across the span of the summer- and he also came home a few times too. Every time I was with him it literally felt so right- like God was really there and that he had led me to Tommy and I was so excited about our future together.
Every time I went up to Lake George that summer Tommy treated me so amazingly. He took me on dates and took care of me so well. I had never had a guy treat me as if I was so special to him. It all made sense why God wanted me to wait for His timing- if I had known it would have worked out so amazingly maybe I would have been more inclined to listen to Him sooner haha but it’s okay, the time I went through before I met Tommy helped me really appreciate everything Tommy did and still does for me now.
That may sound like it’s the end of the story but honestly it’s far from it- I only left you off in about July of 2014. Things didn’t stay so perfect- remember we were still in a long distance relationship (about three hours) and if any of you have been in them you know first hand they are NOT fun at times. Little did we know- Tommy and I had more growing to do before we could have a serious relationship work between the two of us. The long distance really took it’s toll on our relationship during the late summer. We didn’t communicate well at all when we weren’t together and our schedules really didn’t line up especially at the end of the summer and we barely got to see each other. We actually ended up breaking up about a week before Tommy moved back home to New Jersey.
Sorry to leave yah hanging but this is getting a little too long- check back tomorrow to find out how we end up back together! 😉
Now I’m not married or even engaged for that matter so I’m not sure if I’m truly qualified to even write this post but I’m going to attempt it anyway. It’s obvious based off my other posts that Tommy and I are pretty serious and that we even have been talking about getting married a lot lately. We both know that we want to marry each other, it’s just a matter of time and letting the details work themselves out. As with anything new that I am about to embark on I have been reading AS MUCH as I can about marriage because I’m the type of person who always wants to be prepared. My parents are also divorced and I want to learn as much as I can how to have a healthy, happy marriage since it’s not what I grew up around or know much about.
The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned:
Marriage is not meant to make you happy. Wait, what? Isn’t that what’s taught – no drilled into our heads since we were old enough to talk? Isn’t that what every Disney movie (with the exception of Frozen – Hallelujah!) is about? If you search hard enough, or wait around long enough, prince charming will come find you. And when he does, it’s going to be glorious and there won’t be anything left to worry about. You’ll have your happily ever after and everything will be perfect.
But what happens when you wake up in the real world, next to a sinner – like yourself – and your prince charming does something you never would have imagined he would do? What happens when you’ve run into an issue in your marriage just two weeks in and you’re arguing all the time? Do you just give up because this isn’t what you thought married life was supposed to be like?
I hope not. I hope you choose to fight more for your marriage than you fight with your spouse. I hope you are able to swallow your pride and apologize when you’re wrong. But more than that I hope you forgive – I hope you forgive even when you don’t want to, even when your spouse did something you thought you never could forgive them for. Because isn’t that what marriage is truly about?
God gave us the gift of marriage to show us the beauty behind His love for us. It’s not meant to make us happy, it’s meant to make us holy. When we choose to get married, we are choosing to put someone’s needs before our own and sacrifice ourselves for another person. We’re choosing to put their happiness ahead of ours. We’re choosing to become more like Jesus. No wonder marriage isn’t the happily ever after we thought it would be. This is no easy task – I struggle with it already and I’m not even married yet.
The most amazing part of marriage to me is the grace were expected to give to our spouses. When we say “I do”, we’re committing to extend grace through anything, no matter what. We’re expected to stare straight at our spouse’s weaknesses, the same weakness that have hurt us and say “Nope I refuse to leave, I’m staying and I’m still choosing to love you”. And the greatest part of it all is that we’re expected to do all this because Jesus has already done it all for us – and more!
He’s looking at you right now saying “You – the messy, broken you that you don’t even like.. I want you. I want that part of you. Bring it to me and confess the brokenness – only I can heal you and I WANT to, more than you want to be healed. Come to me and I will give you rest.”
This is why marriage is so glorious! Because we were made to reflect that beauty. We get to show that grace to another person – that even though you’re messy and even though you hurt me – I still love you and I still am staying no matter what. We’re set up in the perfect place to really put on display Christ’s love to not only our spouses but to the world around us and this is so so much better than any happily ever after the movies display for us.
Hi guys. I’m super excited to share with you what Tommy has written for the blog 🙂 I was really excited when he offered talked about wanting to write a blog post and his post is so sweet I know you guys will love it. So without further ado – here’s my handsome, silly boyfriend:
Hiya folks! This blog is going to be a little different than Ashley’s usual…. I bet you’re wondering why. Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Tommy and I’m Ashley’s boyfriend. This is my first crack blogging and I’m really excited Ashley is letting me take over her cool new hobby; I’m also brand new to this blogging world so please go easy on me.
Anyway I just wanted to share some quick thoughts on how grateful I am for my girly-friend. Since I don’t entirely understand the meaning of a segue-way I will be jumping right into this. Never in my life would I think I would have met such a perfect match for me as Ashley. This amazing chick understands, cares, loves, and guides me in ways I didn’t know were possible. When I’m lost in my faith, or beginning to stray, she is always there to offer such godly advice – it humbles and silents me. So for most of my life I have been a pretty quiet and shy guy, and never one to stand up for myself. Ashley has made me realize my true identity in Christ. Having the confidence in our one true savior has allowed me to really break out of my shell, and feel comfortable enough to be myself. What is so amazing about all of this is, even through my bumps and bruises, no matter how big my flaws , BOTH Ashley and Jesus have an unconditional love me. I hope you all one day understand that Jesus’ love pours out like a never ending river for you. Its FREE baby, its the hope of the world! I really could go on and on about Ashy but its time to wrap this little blog attempt up. Hopefully this was short and sweet, I really enjoyed writing it, and hope you enjoy reading. It’s time for some s’mores brownies! So I’m out. Sleep easy all.
It’s true. I hate the unknown more than anything. When I don’t know the details of things that are happening in my life I get anxious. I love to be prepared and when I’m prepared I think that I’m the one in control of what is happening in my life. Obviously this isn’t true in the slightest. God’s in control, no matter how much planning and preparing I do. He ultimately decides how things happen in my life.
Planning and preparing aren’t bad things in themselves of course, I think God honors us when we are responsible and plan for things that are happening in our lives. But I believe it’s a sin when we plan and plan and plan so much that we think we are out planning God. I don’t know if anyone else struggles with this but sometimes I think I know better than God does. I know what I’ll enjoy and I want to enjoy it when I want it. I can be very impatient at times.
The most frustrating part to me is that I KNOW Jesus’s ways are better than my own. I know that waiting on His timing will only bring me more joy, but sometimes I still feel that I know better or maybe it’s just that I can be selfish at times and I want what I want more than I want to wait for whatever Jesus has prepared for me.
I’m having a hard time with this but I know that Jesus will carry me through. What do you guys do when you struggle with waiting on Jesus? I’d love to hear from you.
