• Faith

    Something I’m learning (The Hard Way Of Course)

    September 15, 2015

    Spending time by myself. For some reason lately I’ve forgotten that I need to spend time alone. I forgot the joys of having absolutely no commitments and just relaxing. Of watching a funny TV show or going for a random drive by myself. I forgot that this is what gives life to me.

    You see, I’m an introvert in the truest sense of the word. I crave time alone to process my thoughts and check my heart and desires. I’m realizing now when I don’t give myself this time, I let certain sins take control of my heart. I need alone time to weed out the bad desires that I don’t realize are there.

    For the past month or so I don’t think I’ve had a full day when I’ve had no commitments. I’ve wanted something so badly that I’ve set this desire in my heart and have been striving for it over God’s will for my life. It’s been coming out in little ways – getting really irritated when things don’t go my way, getting upset when I have had time to myself because I didn’t see this as beneficial to “my goal”. I didn’t even realize and now that I do I feel awful.

    When I spend alone time, for me it’s like filling up my car’s gas tank. It fills me up with joy and gives me the ability to love others well. What I’ve been doing lately has been like running on E and it’s been difficult. I’ve been cranky, and have been getting upset with everyone around me way too easily.

    The problem comes in because I don’t like the idea of how it sounds to have a day to myself. It sounds like punishment to be honest and so I’ve been avoiding it at all costs. Filling my days with as many “things to do” as I can. And maybe the reason I’ve been doing this is because I’m afraid to stop and listen to what God really has to say. I’ve been waiting on Him to answer a prayer that I’ve been praying for for years and the closer it seems to happening, the more anxious I get because I’m worried that it just won’t. (No idea if that makes sense but it seems that’s what I was believing.) I think by avoiding the alone time with God and myself I thought I would get to pick how things went and they would happen on my timeline. It’s kind of painful admitting all of this because I didn’t even really notice I was doing it until now but I’m thankful that God is still in control and doesn’t let us have our own way even when we think we know better.

    So I decided to make a list of things that fill me up and allow me to love others well so next time I notice that I’m feeling burnt out I can make sure to do some of these things. Or better yet, I will start to incorporate these into my daily schedule to avoid burnout all together 🙂

    • Read a book
    • Go for a run
    • Watch How I Met Your Mother
    • Write
    • Read other people’s blogs
    • Spend quality time with Jesus

    I’m thankful for a God who doesn’t give up on us even when it seems our true desire is not Him. I’m thankful that He is patient and waits until we are able to hear His voice again and is there waiting with open arms for us to come right back home and I’m thankful for His ability to set our hearts right again and on it’s true desire – Him!

    Has anyone else experienced this type of burnout? If you have, do you have any tips on how to make sure that it doesn’t happen again? Btw how adorable was Tommy’s guest post – if you missed it, you can check it out here. He makes my heart so happy.

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  • Life

    WritingReading&MyDirtBike | Blog-tember Day 4 |

    September 4, 2015

    Today’s prompt from Blog-tember is: What are you passionate about?

    Honestly this is something I am just learning how to answer. For a long time I felt like I didn’t really have all that many passions or hobbies. I actually decided one day to pray about this and ask God to help me find some hobbies cause I felt funny not really knowing what I enjoyed doing. I felt like I was too busy stressing about something silly during my free time that I never really took the time to develop hobbies.

    This post could have gone many different ways because I am obviously passionate about different thins, such as Jesus and my friends and family but I wanted to choose to talk about the passions that I am still developing instead. Maybe it will help those of you out there who don’t feel that they really have any hobbies either and encourage you to find the time to treat yourself well and do things that you really enjoy.

    1. W R I T I N G – Obviously, because of this blog, I am slowly developing a passion for writing. I love the idea of helping out others who are going through the same things that I am and getting feedback from them. I love the idea of having a community of girls through this space but am still learning about how to really cause that to be a reality.
    2. R I D I N G  A  D I R T  B I K E – Another hobby of mine that has developed since I prayed that prayer and this one is from the help of Tommy. Riding a dirt bike was something I always thought was really cool and something I wish i could do but never had the opportunity. One of the things that attracted me to Tommy was that he rode dirt bikes and it didn’t take me all that long after knowing him to buy my own and have him teach me. It’s still something that I’m learning to love (because I can be a scaredy cat sometimes) but it’s so much fun. It’s something that pushes me outside my comfort zone. I usually like to stick with safe activities because I’m afraid of getting hurt but it’s really fun pushing those boundaries and I can’t wait to keep practicing and get even better.
    3. R E A D I N G – Reading is something that I always did but not something that I ever really made that much time for. I never realized how much enjoyment I got out of it until recently and I’ve been making more time to do it. I just love how there’s so many options and how it takes you completely away from reality for a time and can teach you so much.

    That’s all I have for you guys this time. I’m hoping that God continues to answer my prayer and I develop even more hobbies/passions. And just a reminder, something God’s been teaching me lately is to remember it’s important to remember to make time for your passions. It’s important to love yourself well so that you are able to love others and an important way to do this is to keep yourself refreshed by indulging in your passions every now and then.

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  • Marriage

    Bliss

    August 19, 2015

    A word I would use to describe how I feel about my relationship with Tommy. I’m not naive enough to think it’s because of how great of a guy he is, though that’s true. I also know that it isn’t because we are practically the same person, just different genders – though that’s true as well.

    I’ve been at this dating thing for quite some time now. I’ve always been one of those girls who wished and dreamed of the day that she got married. It’s always sounded like it was going to be amazing, but I also wanted it for the wrong reasons as well. I don’t come from the greatest of families so I used to be on a quest to get married so that I could move out and start my own family. Although God has corrected my view of wanting to get married, it took a lot of pain and heartbreak to get me to where I am now.

    Bliss would be the word I would use to describe my relationship with Tommy and I know the only reason it is this way is because I know that God is with us and growing us towards each other and towards himself.

    I want to encourage anyone out there who is struggling with singleness and doesn’t know if God is even there at all. Struggling to believe if He even cares about your desires to be married. I want to you to know that He is there and He cares. More than you could ever know. He wants more for your life than you do and that’s why He has you in this season. Don’t do what I did and take things into your own hands, it will only leave you more alone and hurt than you’re feeling now.

    Trust.

    God knows your desires and He wants you to know that He hears you and your prayers for the future. He wants you to trust Him to bring to pass whatever is best for you. Use this season to get closer to Him, singleness is only for a season.

    Lay your desires down at the foot of the cross.

    Let God fulfill you like only He can.

    It’s never easy but always worth it.

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  • Faith,  Life

    how to experience J O Y in every day life

    August 6, 2015

    Okay so my computer has a virus and that’s why I haven’t been blogging all that much. I’m currently on my work computer (shh don’t tell anyone). But my plan is to buy a Mac, hopefully tonight actually.

    I love sharing what God’s doing in my life in hopes to encourage others too. God’s really teaching me how to experience joy amidst my every day life.

    Joy.

    Real joy. Something that I’m not too familiar with if I’m being honest. God’s really teaching me how to really enjoy my life. Wanna know the secret? Focus on the good. Only the good. Acknowledge the bad, sure. But focus on the good. Dwell on it. Be thankful for it. All of the good, even the small stuff. Especially the small stuff.

    A fresh cup of coffee

    Sunshine at lunch

    Good smelling lotion

    A cute coffee mug

    A sweet kiss

    There’s so many good things to be thankful for on any given day, it just takes us to direct our attention towards them to realize they’re there. I also found this is the key to struggling with contentment as well. It’s hard to be wishing for more when we realize just how much good we already have. We are blessed, truly blessed and I don’t ever want to forget it. Join with me and let’s commit to never getting bored of the blessings in our lives.

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  • Faith,  Marriage

    Life Update: God Cares About The Small Things Too!

    July 29, 2015

    Disclaimer: This is super long and way more personal than my prior posts. I hope you guys will enjoy learning more about my life and what God is doing in it. I’d love to hear about yours as well! Leave a comment with your blog website and I’d love to check it out 🙂

    God is SO good guys! My main reason for documenting this is because I really want to be able to clearly remember how God showed up and answered my prayers in such an amazing way. My hopes is that it encourages you too and helps you to remember that God is always here with us and cares so so much about us.

    So let me let you to what’s currently going on in my life a little bit. As I’ve written about in an older post, I have been dating Tommy for quite some time now – tomorrow is actually our 9 month anniversary! Tommy and I by no means have a perfect relationship, we have our struggles just as everybody else does but I know that this is the man that God has made for me to marry. He is the most thoughtful and caring guy I have ever known. He loves Jesus, most importantly, which is what makes our relationship so great.

    Tommy and I have gotten to the point where we know that we want to marry each other but we are trying to figure out the details and getting ready for that point. Obviously this means that we would both need to be financially able to live on our own. I am most likely going to have to find a new job within the next six months or so because my bank has been pending a merger for about 3 years now (lol) so if/when that goes through I will be let go. I just graduated from college in May though and am not too worried about finding something, just because I know that God will provide and take care of me.

    Tommy happens to be two years younger than I am and he has not exactly figured out which direction he wants to go in when it comes to jobs. His dad is a welder and for a while his plan was to learn from his dad and become a welder also. This path however is a little uncertain because his dad would have to be able to get him a job at the quarry that he works at and we weren’t sure that this was 100% going to be able to happen. Tommy also has an interest in business and has been debating continuing his education and getting a business degree. (Did you catch that?? He’s hands on (wanting to be a welder) and also super smart when it comes to managing money… am I a lucky girl or what?!)

    But this has been tough for me because I can be quite an impatient person sometimes and always one to want to be in control of things. Both Tommy and I have felt that our relationship is at the point where we want to take the next step (& get engaged!!) but we obviously need to make a mature decision and make sure that we can provide for ourselves once we’re married. So to the impatient part lol I have realized that if Tommy chooses to continue with his education that we will most likely have to wait until he graduates before we are able to get married, which could be about 2-3 years. I’m not going to lie I went through a time where I was really struggling with this. I admit that I don’t want to wait that long, and I had a time where I was really unhappy thinking about him doing this. But I also really wanted to be able to support him no matter what he chose to do and I wanted him to make the right decision for himself. I spent a lot of time praying and telling God how I was feeling about it and I can honestly say that He gave me the grace to trust that His plan was way better than mine and be 100% okay with whatever Tommy chose to do, even if that meant that we had to wait 2 or 3 years to get married.

    Now to the exciting part… God seems to really have answered Tommy and I’s prayers in a crazy way. Right when we felt that working with his dad was not really an option anymore, God brought this option back and I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Tommy’s dad is planning to try to get him learning more about welding throughout the rest of this year and hopefully get him in at the quarry sometime early next year! When Tommy told me about this I couldn’t believe it, I’ve never had God surprise me in such a way and it really shows me how much he actually cares about the details of our lives. If Tommy gets the job with his dad, we will be able to get married, and he will also probably have enough time to go back to school to learn business as well. It’s a win all around and so amazing.

    Although I do recognize that God could change his plans again, and it is possible for Tommy to not get the job with his dad, I still am insanely grateful for the hope that He has given us that this is the path that He is leading us down. I’m so excited to see what He has in store for us, even if things do change and Tommy and I aren’t able to get married for 2-3 years. I just am so grateful to have such an amazing man in my life and a God who loves us so much that He takes the time to care about the small details and leads us down the correct path.

    If you managed to read all of this and make it this far, you’re the best!! This was super long haha but something I felt I really wanted to share. Would you mind just praying for Tommy and I – that we would keep following down God’s path for us? Thanks so much guys!

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  • Faith

    For Those Of You Who Have Anxious Hearts Like I Do….

    July 14, 2015

    This post is for those of you who know how it feels to be anxious. Anxious about life. Anxious for no reason at all sometimes. This post is for those of you who want so badly to trust in God’s good promises for you, who want to experience the peace that Jesus offers – but just can’t seem to grab a hold of this peace and keep it in your hearts.

    Instead you know how it feels to keep repeating the same anxious thoughts over and over again not sure how to make them stop.

    “If only…”

    “What if…”

    Now I want to let you know I am no expert on this. I too struggle with grabbing a hold of the the peace that Jesus offers. I’m on the same journey as you but I want to share with you what God is teaching me along the way.

    I don’t know about you guys but sometimes when I’m feeling anxious I think that I can figure out God’s plan if I think hard enough about my life. Now I realize how ridiculous this sounds admitting it but I’ve realized that that’s exactly what I am trying to do when I can’t stop my anxious heart from worrying.

    Sometimes I even examine other people’s lives and think that I can figure out how God works.

    So she grew up in a Christian home and has had a good life so far so ultimately something bad has to happen to her eventually, right?

    Or, I’ve had a really good year.. that must mean that something bad is lurking around the corner…

    Or, I better not enjoy this too much because then it might get taken away from me…

    Just admitting those thoughts out loud and bringing them into the light makes me realize how ridiculously wrong they really are.

    ” He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.”

    – Acts 1:7

    This verse hit me hard when I read it today. No matter how hard I try to figure out what is going to happen, I simply cannot. It is not in my ability to do so. That again is reserved for God alone. Just like I mentioned in my post “If God’s Ways Are Higher Than Ours Why Does He Allow Bad Things To Happen To Us?”.

    God must really be trying to tell me something huh? Our jobs aren’t to figure out our future, what might or might not happen. Our jobs aren’t to go over every bad thing that can happen to try to figure out how we are going to deal with them if they do.

    Our jobs are to rest in His great love and provision for us. God is faithful guys. He promises to always meet our needs. That’s His job, not ours.

    But more than that, let’s remember how good our God really is. What I’m learning is that this is at the root of our anxieties and worries – we do not ultimately believe that God is good…

    And how wrong we are. God is really transforming my mind about who He is and the main thing that He’s showing me is that He is good! So good we can’t even fathom. If something bad is to happen to us, He’ll be there – every step of the way.

    Holding us, loving us, and growing us.

    We’re never alone, and never without what we need.

    “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

    Pray that God will open your eyes to just how good He really is – it will rock your world.

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