• Faith,  Life,  Marriage

    Thoughts on being a wife

    June 26, 2016

    So tomorrow it will officially be one year of blogging and I think that’s just crazy. Time please slow down. But anyways it’s been just over a month since I got married and it’s been such a whirl-win but really has been the best time of my life.  It’s such a huge change that honestly nothing can prepare you for so I just wanted to write down my thoughts thus far on being a wife so that I have it to remember and also to slightly prepare anyone who might read this who is getting married.

    • There is never a time when something is not planned. Even rest needs to be scheduled in it feels like.
    • There is ALWAYS housework to be done. Always.
    • Living with your best friend has got to be one of the funnest things ever. Going to sleep and waking up next to them has to be the best part about being married.
    • Where do all the dishes even come from?
    • What am I supposed to do when my husband isn’t home? I am so not used to this lol he gets home before I do from work everyday so I rarely am home when he isn’t. Today is actually the first day that I am home without him for an extended period of time and it is weird. (Hope I’m not alone with this one lol).
    • Alone time is important but hard to come by sometimes.
    • Marriage is the most rewarding thing on the planet if you are doing it in God’s design.
    • Loving my husband by cooking and cleaning has been the most satisfying thing ever.
    • Nobody tells you how much you’ll miss your family. It is beyond exciting moving out and having a place with your best friend but I never realized how much I would miss my family too. It was definitely an adjustment.
    • Being responsible for dinner and cleanup when you’ve had a bad day at work is tough sometimes. I’m so thankful I have a loving husband who shares the household chores with me.
    • I need to learn a new way to connect with God. My life is completely different and I’m still trying to figure out when the best time is for me to read my bible and connect with God. This one has been tough.

    So I’m sure there are so many more things that I could say but I will stop there. Being married gives me so much joy, but please don’t fall into the trap like I did that once you are married that everything will be perfect. Tommy and I have so much fun together but we’re both still sinners and we still fight and get on each other’s nerves. Marriage doesn’t fix anything and you definitely need to be ready for it for it to work well.

    I’d love to hear from you though. What do you remember about how much your life changed when you first got married? Or if you’re not married what do you think will be the hardest/easiest thing adjusting to?

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  • Faith,  Life

    Real Life

    May 6, 2016

    Have you ever woken up and wondered how your life ever got to be where it is? Good or bad. I woke up thinking that what God has done in my life is honestly just too good to be true. I felt like someone was going to walk into my new apartment and tell me that the joke is over now and that I have to go back home. I’ve been so excited to move out and get married and now that God is actually allowing it to happen it honestly feels too good to be true.

    Tommy and I had a long conversation after that about faithful God has been through this whole situation. I remember a time when we would sit and talk about how we needed God to show up when we told our friends and families about getting engaged. We really needed their support through it all and every single one of our friends and family members were so excited for us and that was only the beginning.

    Next came Tommy’s job. We prayed and wished for almost a year for Tommy’s dad to get him a job at the quarry where him and his brother work as welders. We knew that this was an essential part of Tommy and I being able to provide for ourselves. We knew that God would provide for us but we were worried it might be in a different way than we were envisioning for ourselves. So we prayed and hoped that this was the way that God was leading us and it turned out that we were right and that it was where God was leading us and it’s been amazing to see God open those doors for Tommy.

    Just when you think it’s over and that God did enough amazing things, He even blessed my work search. I was laid off in March and also knew that I needed to find a job so that we could continue to save for the wedding and to eventually be able to provide for ourselves when we moved out. It only took about a month of looking and I found a job – that paid more than my last one. It is only a temporary job but it’s just what I needed at the time and for that I am forever grateful. I know that when it comes time to look for another job again, when this assignment is over that He will provide in just the right way that our new little family needs.

    And so with all that being said maybe others can see why I feel that my life is just too good to be true. I want to tell everyone I meet how faithful God is and to know that He can and will do this for others too because He loves and cares for us. What about you guys? Has God ever shown up in such a way that you couldn’t believe that this was your life? Or do you have trouble believing that God could care about you in this way like I once did?

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  • Faith,  Life

    Learning what it means to be a Christian

    May 5, 2016

    Good morning! I’ve been up since 5 am and I already feel so accomplished (and a bit sleepy as well). I’ve been working on getting up early to have some more “me” time. It was actually one of my goals for April, although I did not have the time to post them here. It’s still a work in progress but I’m getting there and that’s what’s important. Once the wedding is over I feel like I’ll have so much more time to do things. Speaking of the wedding – it’s in just 17 days whaaaat?! God is just too good you guys.

    But anyways I don’t want this post to just be another ramble train about how excited I am to get married. I’d like to actually attempt to form a coherent message to share with whoever may be reading this. It’s something I’ve been struggling with/learning, like many of my posts tend to be.

    The thing that has been most on my mind lately is what exactly is God asking of me. Of all of us really. I used to think I knew what that was, I used to just try my best to follow all His rules and not try to sin too much and I thought for a while that that was the point of being a Christian but I’m not too sure now. I do think that is a huge part of it – by making an effort to follow God with our lives it shows Him and others where our hearts are. It’s my favorite way to love God. But lately that just doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like I’m missing something when it comes to following God.

    I’m not completely sure what that might be (if you feel like you might have a handle on this clue me in on what I’m missing?). But I think God wants more for us than just to set goals after goals (even though those are definitely good things). Maybe what I’ve been missing is I just need to love more. That’s sure what it feels like. Love my friends more. Love my family more. Love strangers more. I’m just not quite to sure what that looks like. I want to glorify God with everything I do and I think part of that is loving others well. I think that’s what I want to work on for the rest of the year – showing others the love of the father. I think that’s what it truly means to be a Christian.

    What does being a Christian mean to you? Have you ever sat down to really dwell on it like I have? What did you come up with? I’d love to know!

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  • Faith

    How my Psychology degree has hindered my walk with Jesus

    March 2, 2016

    So a little background about myself, in case you didn’t already know I graduated from college last May with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. Although this wasn’t my plan when I started school when I was fresh out of high school. (How do any 18 year olds know what they want to do with their life – someone please tell me?) Anyways, when I was 18 I thought I wanted to be a teacher because that’s what always felt right. I had always loved children, loved being around them, and taking care of them. So the logical thing in my 18 year old mind was to become a teacher. Because what else was there really?

    And this was my plan 3 years in even. I started taking teaching classes my third year of college I believe and it was then that it hit me – I didn’t want to be a teacher. I’m terrified of public speaking (even with those precious Kindergartners). I just knew this wasn’t what I was meant to do. I didn’t feel that I had the skills to do it well so I dropped the major. And in New Jersey when you’re planning to be a teacher you have to double major because apparently teaching isn’t really a degree anyway.. it’s a certificate. So my second major was Psychology, honestly just because those were the only classes I enjoyed taking in college so it seemed fitting.

    So here I am with a Psychology degree and still don’t know what I want to do with it, but that honestly wasn’t the point of this post. I wanted to share with you how learning about Psychology has actually hindered my walk with Jesus. When you take Psychology classes the point is to teach you why people do the things they do and learn how to help them. A lot of modern day helping is to medicate people so that they don’t have side effects of past traumas, which I definitely do think is necessary sometimes but not to the extent that our country does it.

    So I’ve learned a lot about myself through this classes, which is awesome and I’m so glad but I’ve learned recently that I have come to think it gives me an excuse for having the flaws that I do. And while yes it does kind of, it doesn’t give me an excuse to stay there. I have the hardest time confessing something after I learned WHY I’ve been doing it. For example, my mom raised my brother and I with a very critical spirit and has in turn passed that onto me. It is just who I am because it’s what I learned. And honestly do you know how HARD it is to change something that has been drilled into you for decades?? Very hard let me tell you, I’ve tried.

    So sometimes it’s much easier for me to stay hidden behind the ITS NOT MY FAULT excuse and go about my life just the way I am. Jesus loves me this way anyways right? Well yes, of course but what I’m learning is that I’m missing out on so so much by refusing to repent of these really hard things.

    I’m missing out on the intimacy of knowing Jesus and knowing how much He loves me and how much He has really forgiven me for. I’m missing out on intimacy with my sweet fiance who loves me enough to deal with my stubborn self. I’m realizing, though it’s hard, repenting of these sins is the only real answer to true growth and happiness with both Jesus and those closest to me. I don’t want to hide behind my excuses that I’ve learned through Psychology. I want to grow more and more into the likeness of Jesus, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

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  • Faith

    If you’re ever wondering if God can accept all of you, read this

    February 25, 2016

    You guys I am so excited to tell you that I wrote my first guest post this month. It was on my February goals and I’m so happy that I actually accomplished it. It went live today over at Wendy van Eyck’s site ilovedevotionals.com.

    Wendy is writing this whole year about how to live “well” and what that means. I feel that this is the first step for me to ever getting it right – realizing that God accepts me the way that I am right now, flaws and all. If I don’t I realize that then there’s no room for growth.

    If this is something you might be interested in reading more about, click here to read my post. I’d love to know what your thoughts are or if you have any tips for me in this area.

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  • Faith

    Why all of these _ steps to a better __ lists are so dangerous

    February 5, 2016

    Have you ever felt just overwhelmed by the many lists out there that promise a good or happy life? The ones like 10 steps a happier marriage. 15 steps to a closer relationship with God. They sound really great and the list sounds doable initially but when you get to the bottom, do you ever feel an overwhelming feeling of dread? Because I know I do. Those lists are perfect examples to me of lists of things that I just don’t measure up to. Reasons why I’m not good enough. I know they are meant to help and honestly sometimes they even do but more often than not they’re just a reminder of my shortcomings.

    These are especially dangerous when they involve God. There isn’t a way to check off steps on a list to be closer to God. That’s not how it works. How do I so easily forget this? God is after my heart and honestly that’s the hardest thing to give him. If I don’t have a passion to know him better, reading my bible isn’t going to bring me closer to him. So what do we do when we are lacking in our desire for God? Or when we notice he is slipping down our priority list?

    PRAY

    Plead with God to restore in you a heart for him. It may not happen instantaneously but I can promise that it is something God will answer. You may even need to continue praying everyday until it does happen but when it does it will be beautiful.

    The truth is these lists are dangerous and I don’t think we really realize what they’re doing to us. They’re either making us more self-righteous because we have amazing self-discipline and are able to meet (almost) all of the things on the list and we are then thinking that we are closer to God because of it. Or they are making us despair because we are realizing our shortcoming now more than ever. We might even fall into the trap of thinking if we aren’t doing these things then we can’t ever be closer to God. And I’m not saying don’t ever read the lists because they can give us great ideas on how to respond to God but be aware that they aren’t steps to getting closer to God.

    We need to start with God first and go from there.

     

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