• Faith,  Life,  Marriage

    Thoughts on being a wife

    June 26, 2016

    So tomorrow it will officially be one year of blogging and I think that’s just crazy. Time please slow down. But anyways it’s been just over a month since I got married and it’s been such a whirl-win but really has been the best time of my life.  It’s such a huge change that honestly nothing can prepare you for so I just wanted to write down my thoughts thus far on being a wife so that I have it to remember and also to slightly prepare anyone who might read this who is getting married.

    • There is never a time when something is not planned. Even rest needs to be scheduled in it feels like.
    • There is ALWAYS housework to be done. Always.
    • Living with your best friend has got to be one of the funnest things ever. Going to sleep and waking up next to them has to be the best part about being married.
    • Where do all the dishes even come from?
    • What am I supposed to do when my husband isn’t home? I am so not used to this lol he gets home before I do from work everyday so I rarely am home when he isn’t. Today is actually the first day that I am home without him for an extended period of time and it is weird. (Hope I’m not alone with this one lol).
    • Alone time is important but hard to come by sometimes.
    • Marriage is the most rewarding thing on the planet if you are doing it in God’s design.
    • Loving my husband by cooking and cleaning has been the most satisfying thing ever.
    • Nobody tells you how much you’ll miss your family. It is beyond exciting moving out and having a place with your best friend but I never realized how much I would miss my family too. It was definitely an adjustment.
    • Being responsible for dinner and cleanup when you’ve had a bad day at work is tough sometimes. I’m so thankful I have a loving husband who shares the household chores with me.
    • I need to learn a new way to connect with God. My life is completely different and I’m still trying to figure out when the best time is for me to read my bible and connect with God. This one has been tough.

    So I’m sure there are so many more things that I could say but I will stop there. Being married gives me so much joy, but please don’t fall into the trap like I did that once you are married that everything will be perfect. Tommy and I have so much fun together but we’re both still sinners and we still fight and get on each other’s nerves. Marriage doesn’t fix anything and you definitely need to be ready for it for it to work well.

    I’d love to hear from you though. What do you remember about how much your life changed when you first got married? Or if you’re not married what do you think will be the hardest/easiest thing adjusting to?

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  • Life

    4 Things I Love About Living on My Own

    June 4, 2016

    Hi friends, I thought that it was time for me to put together a coherent post about something you guys might actually want to read – other than just me babbling on about what’s going on in my life. (Though I’m sure you guys enjoy reading those posts just as much ;)). But anyways, a post with a main point was long overdue. Living on my own has to be one of my absolute favorite things about being married. It has given me so much peace and I’m excited to share with you guys 4 reasons why I love it so much!

    1. I feel accomplished. Living on your own gives you an appreciation for so many things in such a different way than before. For example, it gives me a better appreciation for my job because it gives me the means to be able to afford to live on my own. It also gives me appreciation for my mom because now I know the hard work that it takes to keep a house going and clean. I never realized that living on my own would cause me to see things this way but it makes life just a little bit more fun.
    2. I feel more at peace. I’m not sure if whoever may be reading this knows this but I didn’t come from a very stable home. My childhood was plagued with a decent amount of misfortune and it really took its toll on me and my mental state. Being on my own makes me so happy because I finally have control of the state of my home and I intend to very strongly make sure that our home is always centered on Jesus and do my very best to display that. I want others who come into our home, especially those who might also come from a not so peaceful home to feel a sense of peace and wonder what is different about our home.
    3. I share it with my best friend. I know this is cliche to say but it really is true and makes all the difference. I always knew how much I liked doing things with Tommy but it really hit me the other day that Tommy really is my best friend. He’s the one I want to do things with the most and the first one I want to share how my day went with. I absolutely love waking up to him each morning and knowing that he will be there when I get home each night. Living with someone that you can have fun with all the time makes for so much more of a fun living situation. Don’t settle, make sure who you marry is your best friend.
    4. Freedom. This one may be the silliest one but it doesn’t make it anymore true. It is now up to Tommy and I when we want to clean or do dishes. I can cook a meal or bake a dessert and not have to clean up on my moms terms or hear her complain about the kitchen being a mess. (Sorry mom.) This may sound gross also but I can assure you that I definitely still do clean but just at a different pace than my mom would have. It’s awesome to have the freedom to be able to do things on your own and not have to worry about upsetting anyone else.

    So there you have it. Four reasons why living on your own is awesome. It obviously comes with some not so fun things as well – like having to clean and cook every time you want to eat but hey at least you get to do this with your best friend now. Tell me, what are your favorite things about living on your own? If you don’t live on your own yet, what are you looking forward to the most when you finally get to?

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  • Faith,  Marriage

    Why Marriage Is Not The Happily Ever After We Thought It Was

    September 17, 2015

    Now I’m not married or even engaged for that matter so I’m not sure if I’m truly qualified to even write this post but I’m going to attempt it anyway. It’s obvious based off my other posts that Tommy and I are pretty serious and that we even have been talking about getting married a lot lately. We both know that we want to marry each other, it’s just a matter of time and letting the details work themselves out. As with anything new that I am about to embark on I have been reading AS MUCH as I can about marriage because I’m the type of person who always wants to be prepared. My parents are also divorced and I want to learn as much as I can how to have a healthy, happy marriage since it’s not what I grew up around or know much about.

    The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned:

    Marriage is not meant to make you happy. Wait, what? Isn’t that what’s taught – no drilled into our heads since we were old enough to talk? Isn’t that what every Disney movie (with the exception of Frozen – Hallelujah!) is about? If you search hard enough, or wait around long enough, prince charming will come find you. And when he does, it’s going to be glorious and there won’t be anything left to worry about. You’ll have your happily ever after and everything will be perfect.

    But what happens when you wake up in the real world, next to a sinner – like yourself – and your prince charming does something you never would have imagined he would do? What happens when you’ve run into an issue in your marriage just two weeks in and you’re arguing all the time? Do you just give up because this isn’t what you thought married life was supposed to be like?

    I hope not. I hope you choose to fight more for your marriage than you fight with your spouse. I hope you are able to swallow your pride and apologize when you’re wrong. But more than that I hope you forgive – I hope you forgive even when you don’t want to, even when your spouse did something you thought you never could forgive them for. Because isn’t that what marriage is truly about?

    God gave us the gift of marriage to show us the beauty behind His love for us. It’s not meant to make us happy, it’s meant to make us holy. When we choose to get married, we are choosing to put someone’s needs before our own and sacrifice ourselves for another person. We’re choosing to put their happiness ahead of ours. We’re choosing to become more like Jesus. No wonder marriage isn’t the happily ever after we thought it would be. This is no easy task – I struggle with it already and I’m not even married yet.

    The most amazing part of marriage to me is the grace were expected to give to our spouses. When we say “I do”, we’re committing to extend grace through anything, no matter what. We’re expected to stare straight at our spouse’s weaknesses, the same weakness that have hurt us and say “Nope I refuse to leave, I’m staying and I’m still choosing to love you”. And the greatest part of it all is that we’re expected to do all this because Jesus has already done it all for us – and more!

    He’s looking at you right now saying “You – the messy, broken you that you don’t even like.. I want you. I want that part of you. Bring it to me and confess the brokenness – only I can heal you and I WANT to, more than you want to be healed. Come to me and I will give you rest.”

    This is why marriage is so glorious! Because we were made to reflect that beauty. We get to show that grace to another person – that even though you’re messy and even though you hurt me – I still love you and I still am staying no matter what. We’re set up in the perfect place to really put on display Christ’s love to not only our spouses but to the world around us and this is so so much better than any happily ever after the movies display for us.

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